i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
