Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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