I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
