No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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