Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
