she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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