I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
