I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is Oprah even human
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
