there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I deserve this hangover.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
