Sry I called you an 8
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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