were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
