That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My ass is underappreciated
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
