escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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