I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
