You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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