how can u be prego again
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
