took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
