Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
