Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
