I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Everything about him screamed your future.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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