When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
