is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
