Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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