Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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