we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
