I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
