oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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