me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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