***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That accounts for only three of the penises
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
