This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
