She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
