They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize