The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
