dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Houston, we have a blender
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize