my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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