No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
