I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
