you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
