My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
