weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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