margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
