i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize