You're my little dorito
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
