the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
