Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
