Umm I'm too high to move.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
