Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
