There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You are the jesus of drinking
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
