With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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