he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
