He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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