she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
