ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
