What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
