Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
