I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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