I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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