Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
