there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
