I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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