I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
