I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
