but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize